4-5 red bell peppers: roasted, with most of the skin removed
(and seeds, too)
1-2 onions: diced
10-12 garlic cloves: peeled (more if you want) or you can roast them, first
1-2 carrots: diced
some fresh cilantro (to taste)...wash it. You can save this and add it on the final blend, so it is fresh and not limp
cumin: 2-3 tablespoons
juice of one or two limes
sea salt (kosher, whatever)
black pepper
vinegar (cover it all)....low heat until soft
1 medium large bottle of Texas Pete or a suitable substitute
Peppers: whatever you want, but I use...
Habaneros
-stem them, and if you want to do so, slice off the top and core them, otherwise
they will be hotter. But if you want that, leave the core and seed. And may Jupiter Optimus Maximus have mercy on your soul.
-take one cookie sheet, cover with a layer of habernos, roast/broil
(Do this with the windows open and a fan on high...or a gas mask. )
-turn them, roast the other side
-on the last batch, I used two cookie sheets worth (120 -150 peppers)
Process the veggie mixture in a blender (or food processor) to your
preferred consistency.
Add peppers, blend some more...
I also put in roasted Mexican reds (or use them instead of habaneros), a cup or so (along with the habaneros), Hungarian hot wax, or jalapenos, or cayenne, or chili arbol, or whatever you happen to have.
Oh, I almost forgot. I made a version of this with Coleman's dry mustard (about 3 tablespoons) and fresh horseradish (added to the veggie mix before the puree stage) for a friend who said it wasn't hot enough for him. Between the chilies, the dry mustard, and the horseradish (or wasabi powder),...well...you had better see if you are an alien or a corpse.
Put in sterilized Mason jars..... and keep away from small children and pets.
Nota bene
You can (and should) use this as a jumping off point for your hot sauce experiments. This is merely the way I made it last time...or at least, the best that I can remember. Check the index. I have other recipes available. Enjoy!! and BE CAREFUL.
Testamonials to the heat
"Damn it, Burgess!! What are you trying to do to me?! You're a f***ing maniac!!! --Jim O.
"Wow!!!.....That's a bit...uh,...warm...." --Tony C.
"My God, Dr. B. How do you eat that s**t!?! It's really vile!!! --Shane H.
"Hey, Doug. This will make you happy. I'm rooming with some grad students from India. They make wonderful food, but they told me they thought it might be too hot for an American, but they smiled and gave me some. I ate it with no trouble and when they were shaking their heads and asking how I could do that, I got out some of the Death to Chili-Heads sauce. When they could breathe again, they were still crying and it took them a minute or two before they could talk. They said that it was pretty hot." --Phil M.
"I told him to be careful with that stuff, if he insisted on eating it. But no, he had to prove he had b***s-of-steel, and gulp down a whole spoonful of the stuff!! I guess that will teach him. When he regains consciousness... If he regains consciousness.... Maybe..." --Michele A.
"Uh, Doug....I have a chronic medical condition...." --Robert C.
"Doug, I don't care what you say or how good you say it is. I'm not eating that." --Leslie C.
"Jeez, Doug. Some of this and a couple of hits of ginseng and Viagra will be out of business." --Dick J.
"You've got to be kidding, Dr. B. I know what goes into that s**t!" --Chris Z..
"Damnation! Don't ever try to take this s**t out of the country! The Narcs will bust your a** at the border!!!" --Bobby B.
"You and I are the only two people I know, except for the 98 year old woman who lives up the street from me, who can eat this stuff with out crying. Let's go into business. We'll be rich!" --Barry S.
"God bless you!! This is practically a religious experience. Some of this three times a day and there is real hope for a Second Coming!" --Rev. Bob J.
"My middle child Andy eats this stuff on chips. I think it has stunted his growth!!!" --Penny S.