Oh my God!! What is going on here? Why can’t I see? What is happening to me? Why can I not talk? I can’t move. What is this?

"Ma’am I am sorry but your husband is in a coma. He sustained massive head injuries in a car wreck just a few hours ago. We have him stabilized but he could be in the coma for months, or he could be in a coma for just a few hours we don’t know. I am really sorry ma’am, you will have my prayers with you and your family."

Oh what is this? I am in a coma? I supposed to go to a book signing. Yeah and I get to see that cute girl that works in the coffee shop. Oh yeah sure that was a rational thought. If I was in a coma, I wouldn’t be thinking. I am just paralyzed severely and they don’t know it. This rationality is overwhelming me, is that supposed to bring comfort to myself? Jesus, what am I supposed to do? I wish I could cry. This is hell. What did I do to deserve this? You know God, this wouldn’t be my life if something went well for me. How could you do this to me? Huh? Why let me suffer here in total darkness? Please God let me die.

"Ma’am he is on life support, in his living will he wanted to use advanced directives and we will respect that as long as you agree with it."

"Sir I want you to do everything you can do to save my husband’s life. I don’t care how long he has to stay on these machines."

Please pull the plug. I can’t live like this for months. I want to die. I can’t take this. Please, Mary, if there ever was a time that you loved me, you would pull the plug. Do it for the kids. I can’t stand to let them remember their father like this. Wait a minute here. How could I ever question God? How could I live with myself knowing that my wife is suffering? Haha this is too great. Not only does my wife get to suffer the long slow death of me, but I get to hear the entire thing. This is sweet revenge. My kids will get over it. I cannot pass up the opportunity. I feel selfish for saying that but I think I am the one in the coma here, how can I be responsible. They don’t know that I am coherent in my mind.

"Ma’am I suggest that you try to get some rest. Your husband has been stabilized."

"How can I get some rest?"

"I know it is hard ma’am but you have to get some rest, it will help you."

"Ok, just give me a few moments alone with him please?"

"No problem."

"Honey, I know you can’t hear me, but please don’t leave us. Your family needs you, I need you."

Oh yeah right, you never said anything this sweet to me while I was alive. Exactly what do you mean you need me? You need me to make some money for you? Provide for the family. Well, as soon as she figures out the life insurance I don’t think I am going to be of much use to you alive.

"Please God let him hear me. I don’t want to lose him."

Oh isn’t that funny. Now she is praying to God for me. How romantic! You think God is going to help you? This is his punishment for you. I am just so glad that you don’t understand that. I thank God for that.

"I love you, Claude. I know I haven’t been the best wife, but..."

No kidding. I know you haven’t been a good wife, I am interested though but what?

"but I am sorry. I am so sorry that this is happening. I know you can’t hear me, but you mean more to me than anything in this world."

Oh this sentimentality is so overwhelming, I was wanting to cry earlier, now I wish I could puke, but I guess one can’t have their cake and eat it too. Why don’t you just go on and get some rest, you have some more groveling to do later. Anyway my head is starting to hurt, I am going to sleep. Thank you for coming. Who else is that here in the room?

To continue...

To return to the muse.