Not much has been happening the last couple of weeks. Work has been the same, Mother has been the same, and the weather here in Seattle has been the same. My miserable home life makes my job miserable and the rainy weather doesn't help. I've been to Vick's a few times since my outburst, but I still feel pretty bad. I haven't had a gin and tonic since.

I have been spending a lot of evenings over at the hospital visitng Claude. I feel really bad for his wife. I have interupted her a few times. I don't think she realizes that i talk to her husband every night after she leaves. She would probably think I am strange. The nurses here on ICU don't really like me, but since I am technically a hospital employee, they can't say much. Actually, they won't say much. They never talk to me. They probably make fun of me while I talk to the patients. I guess it does sound kind of strange. But, it's good for the patients to have someone there all the time, and it's good for me, too. I tell them all about my pathetic life, and my problems, and they just lay there and listen. I bet they can hear me.

So, as I was saying, I have been spending a lot of time with Claude. I have been telling him about the weather, and the news around Seattle, work, and occasionally I read him some articles from the Sports section of the newspaper. He strikes me as the type of guy who might enjoy that.

I think Claude can hear me. I don't know why, but I just think he can. So I tell him, "Claude, you are fortunate. I know you were in a bad accident, but you're lucky because your wife loves you very much. She's here everyday. She talks to you all the time, and she seems really friendly. You must have a very happy family life. I envy you."

And I do. I envy him a whole lot. Even though he's lying there, unable to speak or move, his wife still comes to visit him everyday. My mother would come for the first few days and then tell the doctors she couldn't come back because her spleen hurt, or something pathetic like that.

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