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 EVERYDAY
NEGOTIATIONS –
A PATHWAY TO SUCCESS
Almost every day
at work, we are faced with some type of negotiation. Not only must we
negotiate for our salary, perks, benefits, title, office space and support
staff, but daily issues involving our duties, the need for increased
manpower, authority over projects, flexibility with clients, arrangements,
communication or sharing of the workload with co-workers; all require
a form of negotiation, which, if we fail to recognize, we will, in all
probability, fail to win.
Beneath the surface
of all negotiations are oftentimes “hidden agendas and masked
assumptions,” most of which are unfavorable to women. Women, generally,
are expected to acquiesce, keep the peace, not make waves, and be the
first to make concessions. There are reasons women take home only seventy
four cents for every dollar of men's take-home pay, and one of those
reasons is that women accept the terms they are first offered and fail
to negotiate for more, not only more salary, but more support, better
hours, more flexibility, better travel conditions and office space.
In The
Shadow Negotiation, authors Deborah Kolb, Ph.D., and Judith
Williams, Ph.D., point out that the results of failing to bargain hard
and smart “accumulate over time, widening a gap that is no longer
measured in money alone.” This gap can result in a woman not being
given the resources or authority to allow her to succeed, and in being
passed over for plum assignments, where she will gain visibility and
recognition. The effects of acquiescing, rather than holding your opposition's
feet to the fire, can snowball, not only becoming increasingly negative,
as time goes by, but sending your career on a downward trajectory as
well.
Negotiating well is
really a matter of learning some basic techniques, bringing to bear
all your observations and insights about the other parties, speaking
up for yourself, and practicing every day, in every negotiation, no
matter how small.
Prepare To
Negotiate
Get some perspective by talking to others in advance, getting their
feedback. Develop alternatives so you can be prepared to walk away without
accepting what the other side offers. Walking away is a powerful negotiating
tool.
Plan carefully precisely what it is you want and the minimum you will
accept. Always ask for more than you want, so you have something to
give in on. Use “the salami technique,” getting what you
want, one slice at a time, rather than asking for the whole salami at
once, thereby, at least on the surface, lowering the cost to your opponent
to give in, so he or she will be less likely to fight.
Offer Incentives
and Make Your Value Visible
The only reason someone is negotiating with you is that you have a value
which he or she wants. The more you can make that value visible, and
make the negotiation pivot around it, the stronger your position will
be. For example, if you are an editor going into a salary negotiation,
and you have been asked to “pitch in,” as women frequently
are, to oversee your company's newsletter, in addition to your regular
work, you can make that expertise more visible by withdrawing your services
prior to a negotiation. You can do this directly: “I was happy
to pitch in, but if I'm not adequately paid for my regular job, it's
hard to justify going the extra mile to help with the newsletter.”
They will understand. And, if they don't, perhaps you consider moving
on to a brighter and more generous group.
Although this may
seem harsh, most experts on the subject agree that women's work, in
particular, has a way of getting “disappeared.” As Kolb
and Williams state, “The value of the work you do disappears unless
you claim it. Unnoticed work goes unrewarded. Rather than continue to
be taken for granted, you can deliberately jostle their awareness.”
Participate
in Structuring the Process
Find ways to make the negotiation more fair and objective. When discussing
salary, bring benchmarks to show what others in your position in your
industry are earning. Use comparisons, studies, and surveys to help
make your point. Don't let the opposition make all the rules. You make
rules more favorable to your position.
Negotiation
Often Means Confronting Change
Negotiation is often about change and many people tend to resist change.
They particularly resist paying more, either in the form of money, power
or collaboration, all of which have value in the workplace. Workplace
issues like family leave or flextime may be new to a company and require
some soul searching. Again, one is well advised to bring comparisons
and studies to back up your advocacy of what's workable and desirable
for your organization. People are far less likely to question published
facts from reliable sources than they are to question you.
Apply Pressure,
Develop Allies
The status quo is always the path of least resistance. Generally, in
the short run, it's easier to do nothing, so that's the path many will
choose, if left to their own devices. It's up to you to make change
more appealing by making the status quo less comfortable. If negotiating
for yourself, you should highlight all the work you do and the goals
you accomplish. Make it evident that without your work, support, or
collaboration, the status quo will become increasingly uncomfortable
in various ways.
Find allies who support
your position and put them to work as well. The more fresh reinforcements
you have backing your position, the stronger it will be. The idea is
not to let your opponents wear you down.
Resisting
Challenges-Naming
Just as political camps do in an election, it's important that you have
an almost instantaneous response to challenges. Always make your position
clear, avoid the personal, and reframe issues from your point of view.
One tactic which is very important for women is “naming.”
We should always try to make visible any tactic being used against us
so people can see it for what it is. When an opponent continuously asks
for more information, or, for one reason or another, refuses to reach
a conclusion or bring a matter to closure, you can name this tactic
“stalling.”
According to Kolb
and Williams, “Just the act of naming let's the other person know
the tactic is transparent. As a result naming delivers two messages:
They show you are not naive about common negotiating tactics and that
the particular ploy is not working. You recognize both the ploy and
why it is being used against you.”
 Not
Every One Will Walk Out Happy As Can Be
Women, with our more nurturing, caring and connecting nature, instinctively
want everyone to walk away from a negotiation happy. In fact, women
sometimes lose a negotiation because in the final moments, having won,
we toss the victory back, like a fish, being tossed back into the stream.
Resist that urge. This is not a child with a skinned knee. This is your
colleague and your equal who was willing to do what it took to win against
you and he certainly wouldn't be tossing you any concessions, after
the fact. You've seen football players doing a victory dance after a
touchdown? Picture your colleague with the same reaction to a win over
you.
When you win, you
win. Don't look back. Don't be affected, one way or another by tantrums,
scowls, gruff remarks or sulky body language. He or she doesn't have
to like it. It's not your job to keep everyone happy. Your job is to
be an advocate for you.
In the end, if you
put you first, you will be an advocate for change. And change will be
good both for women and the organizations for which they work.
Article adapted from the AdvancingWomen.com
website at www.advancingwomen.com.
 PERSONAL
FINANCE SERIES – SUMMER 2004
During the Summer
2004 quarter the WRC Personal Finance Series will highlight a seminar
with a focus on home buying. Sharon Stewart, owner and partner of Mountain
Heritage Realty, and broker, J.D. Kyte, will present “Buying
Your Home - The Power of Knowledge,” on Tuesday, July
13, 2004, at noon. Location for this Lunch Break Seminar is the East
Tennessee Room, D.P. Culp University Center. Stewart and Kyte will discuss
the benefits and risks of home buying, tips on “making an offer,”
and working with lenders.
Whether you are a
first-time home buyer or a veteran of the process, this must-have seminar
is for anyone considering the purchase of a home or condo.
 “Everyday
Self-Defense Strategies for Women”
In light of the recent
attacks perpetrated against regional women, ensuring that your personal
safety is not at risk is vital. To aid in developing or refining those
personal safety measures, Ruth Evers, co-owner of Evers' TaeKwonDo PLUS,
will present “Everyday Self-Defense Strategies for Women,”
on June 22, 2004, at noon. Evers will discuss prevention and resistance
strategies, along with identifying patterns of assault during this hands-on
Lunch Break Seminar.
Evers has been training
since 1989, in the martial art of TaeKwonDo. She is a 5th degree certified
Black Belt and Criminal Countermeasures Rape Prevention Instructor.
Location for this seminar is the East Tennessee Room, D.P. Culp University
Center, at noon. For additional information regarding this seminar,
contact the Women’s Resource Center at 423-439-7847.
 “Managing
Stress: Simplify Your Life”
Stress comes with
life. Furthermore, stress comes with any job. And none of us are immune
from the effects of stress. Professional development coach Margaret
Kellogg, L.C.S.W., will present “Managing Stress:
Simplify Your Life,” on Tuesday, August 10, 2004,
at noon.
This interactive
session provides participants with a brief overview of stress basics
and quickly moves on to practical suggestions for coping with stressful
situations, especially as they occur in the workplace. Also, this seminar
encourages participants to take a look at their inner beliefs as they
identify personal roadblocks to streamlining their approach to the requirements
of everyday living, along with finding that important balance between
work and your personal life.
Location for this
Women’s Health Series Lunch Break Seminar is the East Tennessee
Room, D.P. Culp University Center. For more information, contact the
WRC at 423-439-7847.
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RAD:
Rape Aggression Defense Training