Admiration: How could one girl’s personal tragedy create a new outlook for another? Revealing the character that emerged from by best friend’s tragic obstacles and looking at the impact these events had on my own perceptions.

By Lilly Franklin (pseud.)

Written for Literary Non-fiction, ETSU Fall 2004

As I listened to the last sentence of her speech, I became overwhelmed with emotions. Tears fell from my face as I listened to the words delivered by my best friend, my guide, and now, in sense, my role model. She had endured more emotionally in the past year than most other eighteen year olds endure their entire lives. Yet, she stood behind the podium at her high school graduation as an example of determination, strength, and motivation. For a moment, I placed myself in her shoes and imagined what my high school career might have ended like if I had experienced those same events. I could not imagine being able to end my own career the way she did, at the top of her class and admired by all who sat in her presence. Unlike others do in so many situations, I could not comfort her by saying that I knew how she felt. I simply did not know. All the experiences we had been through were nothing compared to those of her senior year, and unfortunately, I would never fully recognize and appreciate the strength and character of my best friend until those horrible events occurred and their aftermath unfolded.

Hailey (all names and locations have been changed) and I have known each other since we were basketball teammates at Bakersville Elementary School. The city of Bakersville had only this one elementary school, so almost everyone knew one another. But Hailey’s personality allowed her to be easily distinguished from everyone else. After finishing the fifth grade, Hailey entered the basketball team as an energetic sixth grader, ready to improve and willing to work. Her bubbly personality, matched with her blond hair and shining green eyes, radiated a positive glow that all became so accustomed to. Hailey’s basketball skills improved over the next two years, and she became the clear leader of the team during her eighth grade season. She was also a leader off the court and maintained academic dominance.

While most others stressed over the looming transition to high school, the advance to Bakersville High School flowed naturally for both of us. Although Hailey was a year behind, we relied on one another for comfort. Over the years, our friendship became based on our seemingly constant laughter. We always found a way to joke about almost any situation, and others looked to us to find comfort in times of need. Hailey was always the stronger person, and many benefited from her positive outlooks. I always knew I could count on her optimism. When I graduated high school, I knew that Hailey would continue her success. A member of the basketball team, straight A student, and involved in everything from yearbook to student council, Hailey was already looked up to by others. I found comfort knowing that no matter what my current so-called crisis was, Hailey would have a solution. Although I knew her better than anyone, I was amazed at how she would cope with her own hardships.

The first ordeal came while both us were still in high school. It was one night nearing the end of her junior year that I called Hailey at her work to ask if she wanted to go out to eat. I met with her, and we ate, oblivious to what was occurring at her home, which she had just recently moved into. (To Hailey’s excitement, the family had just found a bigger house with more room for Hailey and her two younger brothers, Sean and Keith.) Like most teenage girls, Hailey and I found ourselves searching for something more entertaining than a quiet night at the house could provide, and we quickly resorted to cruising through the town, a favorite pastime of many area teens. I am not sure what drew us to waste so much time that particular night, but we drove aimlessly through Frenshaw, the neighboring city to Bakersville, listening to blaring music, and creating silly dances that we would soon forget. These dances were of course limited to whatever movements could be arranged by our arms and upper body as we struggled with the limited area in my Volkswagen Jetta. We must have driven on the quarter-mile long stretch of road between Wal-Mart and Pal’s five times before we decided to end our senseless dances and chaotic conversation by returning to Hailey’s car. I did not find out until the next morning that Hailey’s house had burned down, and her possessions had all been destroyed during that joyride.

Hailey was strong through it all and remained thankful that things had not been worse. No one was home, and her family was safe. She remained persistent that her possessions could be replaced, and she handled the whole ordeal with extreme poise and a sense of gratitude for the safety of her family. She did not dwell, like other teenagers might have, on the fact that she could not replace many of the things she had lost.

* * *

It was August 28, 2002, as I walked to my car in the eighty degree weather, after my third day of college. I was thankful that the day was over and could not wait to relax in the coolness of my home. When I got home, my mom asked how my day was and I replied that I was just tired. I sat on the couch and rested my feet on the table in front of me. Then my mom asked me what Hailey’s mother’s name was. I replied that it was Susan, and the look on my own mother’s face let me know that something was horribly wrong. My mind raced as to what this look may entail. It had been a mere three months since Hailey had lost her home to the fire, and I gathered that something far worse had occurred. Then, my mother showed me the newspaper.

On the front page was an article about a car accident that occurred the previous night involving a woman and two of her children. A man under the influence of drugs and alcohol had crossed the center lane and struck the van driven by Hailey’s mother while they were traveling through Frenshaw. Her mother had died as a result of this crash, and Hailey’s four year old brother, Keith, had received two broken legs and a head injury. I went to the hospital to see Hailey. She had spent the night with a friend and was not involved in the crash. The usual sparkle in her green eyes was replaced by an emptiness that I had never witnessed. The girl who had never failed to emit charm and exuberance seemed to be on the brink of collapse. I did what I could to comfort her, but it was her strength that sufficed.

Over the next few months I learned the true character of my best friend. I watched as she struggled to cope with the death of her mother at such a young age. Then, I watched as she comforted her brothers and her father, as she finished her high school career at the top of her class, and as she was looked toward as others dealt with their own problems. Even at her weakest point, she remained a strength for others, and I couldn’t imagine being able to feel such concern for the minor problems of high school dilemmas after experiencing something so tragic. Her strength was admirable, and I was able to gain a new appreciation for the friend that I thought I knew everything about. She showed me that even as we experience the harshness of life, no problem is insignificant. Hailey had placed her own emotions on hold to care for her family as well as the needs of her friends. She acted selflessly toward those who had problems, as she gradually found time to cure her own emotional state. I witnessed the rekindled sparkle in her eyes, her revived laughter, and her newly achieved stamina to handle any problem with an ease and determination that some could only wish to possess.

It has been two years since the death of her mother, and Hailey continues to accomplish all that she has wanted. She has successfully completed her first year of college and has reached many personal goals. I am so proud to have her as my friend and to know that her own personal strength has been beneficial to others, especially to myself. I know that however insignificant my problems may seem, even to myself, Hailey will not brush them aside or fail to sympathize. I sometimes feel selfish for complaining about things that are incomparable to what she has experienced, but she never fails to find the importance in the problem. She has the ability to take any situation, examine it, and suggest the most logical and beneficial solution. Her experiences have caused a sense of premature maturity that becomes evident in many circumstances, but she has not allowed herself to be robbed of any youthful experience. Yet, she has gained a wisdom and confidence that dominates her inner recognition and her outward presence.

Contributor’s Note: Lilly Franklin is currently an undergraduate student at East Tennessee State University. She is pursuing a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Her future plans are to acquire a masters degree in English and teach at the college level.