My Lost Neighbor

by David Bishop

for Engl 3040 Literary Nonfiction, ETSU Fall 2004

About the author: David Bishop is a senior at East Tennessee State University. He has been attending college since 1996 and is ready to graduate this spring. Upon graduation he plans to attend graduate school to pursue a MAT degree with concentrations in history and English.

It happened two weeks ago. I was driving home from work, relaxing and enjoying the beautiful summer day before me. Not a care in the world or stressful emotion inside. I had just finished another busy day and was ready to go home and take a much needed nap.

As I traveled down my street toward home I noticed there were many cars parked outside of my neighbor’s home. Not being the curious type I didn’t really give it a second thought. I just thought that Chad was having a family get together, party or some other festivity. He was always cooking out on his deck or playing in the grass with his baby boy, friends and family. A few days had gone by and still I hadn’t seen Chad’s Jeep in his drive. This compounded by the fact that people had begun to carry his belongings away as if he was moving seemed to point to the fact that something was seriously wrong. So I decided to walk across the street and ask the people what had happened . Before I reached the door to knock, I was greeted by a lady who seemed to be in distress. I introduced myself to her and as I was beginning to ask about Chad, she interrupted and said “ Chad was killed at work a few days ago. The words she spoke hit me like a ton of lead. I was shocked and in a total state of disbelief. The man I had just begun to get to know was gone. I could see the emotion on her face and out of human generosity and respect didn’t ask another question. I only replied to her my deep regrets and remorse for her pain. Suddenly, as I turned to walk off of Chad’s porch, life had an entirely different meaning to me. I cannot put into words the thousands of thoughts and emotions that were running through my mind and heart. A young man my age, who was full of life and dreams just like all young men, was gone. The walk that normally would take only seconds now seemed to take days. Each step I took was like the first—slow and unsteady.

As I opened the door to my home, still reeling inside by the news, I sat on the couch and stared at the wall, just sitting and staring, thinking, crying.

Chad was only twenty- seven years old at the time of his death. He had worked at the factory that took his life for the better part of ten years. I remember him explaining one night all the things that his job entailed. He spoke of the dangers involved, hours that he worked each week and lastly the pay in which he received. He was proud of the hard work he did and the fact that he only owed six more years on his home. Chad also spoke that night about how he was planning to take the next week off in order to spend more time with his baby boy. However, fate stepped in instead and robbed Chad of that week. Fate stepped in and robbed that precious little baby boy of a father. Fate stepped in and robbed a mother and father of their son.

For nearly three years I had lived next door to Chad. For the greater part of those three years Chad and I were only normal neighbors. When I say normal I mean when we would see each other out we would wave or say hello, you know we were cordial to one another in that classic American way. We never bothered one another. How I wish I would have taken the time to talk to him more than I did. But as with most other things in my life up to that point I just couldn’t find the time. I was always too busy working, going to school and partying to take time for things like that. Fortunatley for me that all changed one June night as I was returning home from work. As I pulled into my driveway I could see that Chad had his candles burning on his back deck and that he was grilling out. As I exited my car and began to walk toward the door I hear Chad yell “ hey Dave are you hungry”. Since it had been an extremely busy day at work and I had not gotten a chance to take a break and eat I gratefully accepted the offer. Once inside Chad handed me a plate and placed a steak and a potato on my plate. He asked if I needed some Texas toast and butter, I nodded yes. As we made our way into the living room I found myself looking around his home. I glanced at the family portraits on the walls and the baby toys scattered amongst the rooms, the life that was his.

After finishing our steaks and potatoes we began to discuss life, politics, religion and many other things. He commented upon the bumper stickers I have plastered all over my truck. The stickers vary in their messages. Some say “ No war for Oil”, others say “ Peace” and so on and so forth. He described to me his feelings upon the current occupation of Iraq. As he began to speak I could tell his heart was in it. I could tell that he, like myself, had struggled with the fact of being mislead by our government. He had mentioned a friend at work that was over their and some of the things he had told him about it. I told him of how I had a friend that went over their as a construction worker and how I begged him not to go, not just for the simple fact that he may die though that should be sufficient enough reason to stay at home. But I explained to Chad that he shouldn’t go because he is profiting from other peoples misery. As I continued to speak I could tell that Chad was very interested in all that I had to say about the matter. His comments seemed to be a mirror image of my own beliefs and it is rare in life that you meet someone that feels like you do about something. I mean really feels like you do, it is like you can sense it but at the same time cannot describe the feeling you get when this happens in life. We chatted for what seemed to me to be only minutes but in actuality was over three hours. During our chat I got to know Chad more than I have gotten to know most people in my life, even after knowing them for years. That was special and soothing.

After our initial chat we would get together periodically and chat about life, its ups and downs, loves and hates and all the other things that make up the human experience. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize at the time as I do now that each moment you spend with someone could be your last. I didn’t realize how valuable time was and how short a supply there can be of it. I casually thought that I would have many days in the future to hang out with Chad and enjoy his company. We were both young and healthy. I thought we would have many years remaining on the road of life. But as I should have realized all the while we do not control our life supply, we are not on a sort of time limit here on earth where we have an allotted amount of time to do and accomplish what we want. No, we have no control over out time of death anymore than we have control of the weather.

Death will eventually come to talk to us all. The death of my neighbor was sudden, quick and without warning. It opened my eyes permanently to the fact that life is precious and should be treated as such. It made me reconsider my way of living and forced me to deal with the fact that I am mortal. It has given me a new respect for life and all it has to offer us while we are here.

A month has past by since Chad was taken to his eternal resting place. I have had time to adjust to not seeing him on a sunny Saturday afternoon mowing his grass. I have had the time to adjust to not seeing him grilling out on his deck. Unfortunately I haven’t had the time to stop the pain I feel inside for the loss of my friend and neighbor.